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Four Ways to Improve Your Marriage

By: Carmela R. King

Marriage is primarily an economic arrangement, an insurance pact. It differs from the ordinary life insurance agreement only in that it is more binding, more exacting. Its returns are insignificantly small compared with the investments. Moreover, the marriage insurance condemns her to life-long dependency, to parasitism, to complete uselessness, individual as well as social. Man, too, pays his toll, but as his sphere is wider, marriage does not limit him as much as woman. He feels his chains more in an economic sense.

My husband and I not have been married a very long time like other people. Along the way, we discovered some common concepts or keys that across marriages we have known to be successful - think, 30, 40, 50 years. Let me allow sharing them with you.

My husband and I may not have been married as long as others but, along the way, we discovered that there are some common concepts that cut across marriages we have known to be successful-think of it about 30's,40's or 50's. The relationship has to be based on mutual respect, common purpose, and trust. Both parties need to identify what they want out of life and then continue that dialogue throughout their marriage. It doesn't take that much time, but it does take focus, and patience.

1. Whole individuals make whole marriages. First and foremost, get to know yourself first and work out becoming a whole, a happy person. Making compromises and sacrifices is one of the keys to happy marriages. While much communication in strong families is spontaneous - "We talk while we do chores together" or "We talk anytime we're together" - some strong families plan a certain time each day for the entire family to be together to talk.

Knowing yourself, is a hard to accomplish task; to look deeply in the mirror and see the person you have become through your life choices. Most of us are conscious of the physical aspects of a person i.e. the exterior form. Every person has a different soul and temperament. The physical aspects of people may look alike, but there are very few with whom our souls meet. Expose yourself to ideas and experiences that will help you evolve, develop your self-esteem.

2. Love is a decision and a DOING WORD. I have learned that no relationship is perfect, and the needs of your mate constantly changes, but in order to have a long-lasting happy relationship, you have to make a conscious decision that I will love this person through the good and the bad. Love can never be based on feelings alone. There will be times when the one that you love will disappoint you, make you angry, and do or say something really stupid

2. Love is a decision and a DOING WORD. More than that, we can see couples resort to divorce because the "LOVE" has already gone. This stand to be corrected because it is not necessarily the "LOVE" that has gone but the excitement of early romance. People fail to realize is that love is more than the feeling. Steven Covey says: Love is a doing word. I find that to combine the two actually presents aspects of what it means to really LOVE.

Love is a doing word. Feeling it and showing it are two different things. It requires commitment. It sometimes hurts and doesn't feel so good. But what does the world know of the kind of love that the Bible defines anyway? It's in the First Letter to the Corinthians, Chapter 13.

But what does the world know of the kind of love that the Bible defines anyway? Should it surprise me that the dictionary definition is so far removed from what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7? I wonder if older dictionaries ever acknowledged the doing side of love? Is this dangerous limitation of the English concept of love a modern phenomenon? It requires commitment. It's about faithfulness.

3. Communication. Of course, that is the first thing to do. Both can attract men and women. The first important thing to remember about communication in marriage is to consistently use "I" statements as opposed to starting out a sentence with the word "You." While this may sounds like a simple change to make that might not make a whole lot of difference, as any therapist knows, "You" statements tend to sounds accusatory, causing the other spouse to feel defensive.

3. Communication. Of course, that is the first thing to do. People have a misconception of what communication is. They think that's simply talking. Communicate with your spouse. Regular dialogue, quick conversations during the day or debriefing at night will keep the lines of communication open. Verbalize your differences. You and your partner will not always get along. There will be deviations because it is a natural happening for all couples

4. It's not Me, it's WE. Many couples fail to realize that once they enter a relationship, they are no longer just two individuals. Take matters seriously. Both can attract men and women if your partner brings up a concern he or she has, take it seriously. Do not brush it off as meaningless. If it is a concern for them, it needs to be worked out, so help support them in that matter. If you do not take it in earnest, they will not take you seriously and communicating will cease to exist.

"WE"- ness it also includes the most powerful guidelines in successful marriage. Part of marriage is compromising, and you will never agree one hundred percent on everything. So agree to disagree sometimes and respect each other's opinions. Share household responsibilities. Whether you divide and conquer or team up to do everything together.

Sustaining these key points in your relationship can guarantee that the lines of communicating will remain open. You will be able to develop a healthy relationship that will last a lifetime. Building a strong relationship is never entirely easy, but the rewards will keep on coming if you just hang in there. Numerous other tips and guidelines couples can learn from to improve their marriages but I find these 4 will serve them through the years.

Article Source: http://articlebob.com

Carmela King is a team member of SaveMyMarriageToday.com. She and her husband is just one of the many couples who almost got divorced. The lessons taught by the site help them save their marriage their and this prompted her to join their team. She's now spreading the word to help other couples who are in the same situation.

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